Ache With Me

I know I don’t use this blog anymore, But I just thought that I’d let a little update about how things have been going.

Well. I’m down another jeans size from fat loss. I’ve never been so strong physically, and I have 6 weeks left in Uni before I get a job in Physics:)

Was at the hospital today for a routine check on everything. My doctor couldn’t believe it when he seen me. Long story short I don’t have to go back ever again, My sleep apnea has practically been cured. My asthma has disappeared even tho I stopped taking my medication just over a year ago. My blood pressure is back to being perfect and I’ve managed to maintain fat loss for the last 13 months now:P Hope I’ll never have to see another fucking psychiatric consultant ever again!

All this is great, but the biggest changes (and personally the best) in me are all in my head. I’ve actually started seriously dating again. I brought girls bowling, to the cinema, to pubs, to libraries, galleries and to science talks lol And have been having an absolute fantastic time with them as well:) 

Confidence has increased, motivation and discipline are both getting stronger by the minute. Still no progress dealing with trust issues…but what can ya do? 

Fair enough, I still get urges to self-harm when things are shitty. But nobody ever fully recovers from something like that. And taking into account the severity and frequency of it all it’s amazing how far along the road I’ve traveled. And yeah, depression still hits, but that’s never going to go away. It’s just something that you just got to learn to deal with. 

If anyone of you out there felt as I did. Feeling like shit all the time, making out lists as to why people would be better off without you around, hopeless with no motivation or anything. Just hang in there. Go for that extra push to get out of the hole you’re in. It’s hard, it’s probably the hardest thing you’ll ever  do. But trust me, it’s worth it.

Feelings do change, things get better. And you really  deserve to be alive to see it happen.

So I’ll probably be undecided to keep or delete this blog for a long time

So pm me if you’re interested in my personal blog.

Birthday card from my brother lol

For our birthdays we keep trying to get the shittiest card for each other^^ I can’t wait for his birthday I’m going to get a custom card with a princess on it.

Just one of those times when your life is summed up in a song.

“Waking up at twelve in my clothes again 

Feel my head explode from a night of gin 
Another night out late 
I don’t want to drink don’t want to be a clown 
I got to get my feet back on the ground 
Before it pulls me in 

How come it ended up like this 
And who’s gonna catch me when I’m coming down to hit the ground again 

All by myself “waking up at 12 in my clothes again” 
Cause I don’t want to drag you down hold you down 
Cause you’re a friend, I blame myself “feel my head explode from a night of gin” 
I guess you think it’s funny now, funny now 

On the underground with the freaks and frowns 
Looking at the world through silver clouds 
But then it all came down 
I’ve got to rise above the emotional flood 
I’ve got to cut these ropes around my hands 
Pull myself around 

How come it ended up like this 
And who’s gonna be there when I’ve lost control I’m heading to crashland 

All by myself “waking up at 12 in my clothes again” 
Cause I don’t want to drag you down, hold you down 
Cause you’re a friend I blame myself” feel my head explode from a night of gin” 
I guess you think it’s funny now, funny now 

All by myself, cause I don’t want to drag you down, 
Hold you down cause you’re a friend. I blame myself 
I guess you think it’s funny now, funny now, it’s such a shame 

All by myself “waking up at 12 in my clothes again” 
Cause I don’t want to drag you down, hold you down, 
Cause you’re a friend. I blame myself ”feel my head explode from a night of gin” 
I guess you think it’s funny now, funny now, it’s such a sin 

All by myself “waking up at 12 in my clothes again” 
Cause I don’t want to drag you down, hold you down 
Cause you’re a friend I blame myself” feel my head explode from a night of gin” 
I guess you think it’s funny now, funny now.”